I am featuring a series of a brave ordeal a friend of mine, Sarah Na'matovu, whom I went to medical school with, went through a few years ago. Her writing touched my heart. This story is about her heart. Heart surgery to be exact. This is the third and final part of her account.
7 May 2011 (cont)
The nurse taking care of me was all about doctor's orders, that my request for pethidine fell on deaf ears. So that night I kept dosing off for about 10-20minutes per a hour. Most of the time I was up because of the pain. The next shift of nurses came in at 8am the next morning. There was this really nice nurse, all smiles. I saw an opportunity here and I siezed it (I was really in alot of pain). When she asked me how I had spent the night, I told her I had not slept and could she please give me a shot of pethidine. God bless her, she gave IT to me. The next thing I remember is being woken up for lunch which I wanted to pass in favour of sleep.
The all-serious nurse came back for the night shift and when I begged for my miracle shot, 'doctor not order pethidine', is all I got. I had to bear with the undesirable effects of morphine(the damned drug just adds stomach cramps to the list of your problems!). As I was there soaking in a bit of pain, a doc I had never seen before came in, asked if I suffered from asthma, and told me that they had found a tiny scar on the lung and so they needed to take a sputum sample. I asked to know what could have caused the scar,
"Pneuemonia or TB, we shall discuss the results of the test when they come back".
Huh, the plot thickens, I said to myself.
Silently, I started cursing all the TB patients I had ever come into contact with while on Luke and Katherine wards and in the counseling clinic. Under my breath, I sent up pleas to the Creator. See, I have a list of illnesses I never want to suffer from: 1. Cancer 2.TB, and 3.HIV/AIDS. Don't hold your breath, the results came out today, no TB no pneumonia.
The morphine dosing was complimented with oral analgesics(read, paracetamol). Instead of lying back and chilling pain-free, as is with pethidine, the morphine was causing me to slouch and press my abdomen in pain. And, since the paracetamol was doing me no good, I decided to play Ninja turtle, and refused blatantly to take the pills. No more pills, only injection. The rest of the day involved me making deals to be suctioned in exchange for pethidine shots. And, yes each time I got short changed. Morphine for pethidine. (Now, me and peth have a relationship, he, err...uhm, it does me like no other drug does).Hey, am not addicted, atleast not yet.
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| Sarah's relationship with Pethidine |
I was finally moved back into my room in the evening. I got continual dosing with morphine through out the night until I could not take the abdominal pain no more. This morning, I told the nurse, ' No more morphine, Pethidine only, no morphine'. I was finally heard! The doctor agreed to let me have my pethidine.
At 10 am, the nurse walked in with a 10ml syringe filled with you-know-what. I had just finished my breathing exercise(coughing for the most part), so I was in extreme pain, but inside I was smiling, perhaps even giggling! I got another shot at 4pm. It is now past 10pm, time for my next shot. Am not going to ask for it though, because am still numb from the previous shot and am not about to abuse my lovely Pethie. Going to try to walk around and when the pain comes on I will ask for my precious.I might even try to stick it out for the night.
I spent some good time in the ICU crying and feeling sorry for myself, but now, when I look back, I don't know why. This experience was not all bad: I adapted Linkin Park's Iridiscent as the sound track for that episode of my life( which makes me unique, coz y'all don't have no soundtracks :P ). Feels like it was written specially for me. Every time I listen to it, I get smiley and weepy, all at the same time, because I realise that the pain in my life (physical and psychological) has finally run its course. A new dawn awaits. I am letting go of all the pain and desperation of the past.
Today, I start living in the present. I wont bow down to 'situation-ism'. I am Sarah, the tall, slender chocolate-brown cutie, and not just the girl with a heart problem. I am Sarah.
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