Firstly for those guys who don't have kids and are thinking 'oh no, not another baby post'...I used to be you. And yes I still think most newborn babies look exactly the same - like prunes; I don't get why we need moment by moment feeds of a baby's every move when they all generally do the same thing right, and generally bored by the milestone photo's (how are we celebrating someone using a toilet alone? they better be!) Okay I am not that disinterested. Some babies are cute like the ones on beautifulblackbabies.com. But that's another post. The thing is now that I am on the other side of things, I sorta get it. No, no I am not selling out, let me try and explain in 10 simple points stuff I have learnt about being a mum in the last 135 hours since my world was turned up-side down.
1. My baby is the best. No, seriously. This is what every parent thinks. They have the best facial expressions, the best fingers, even the best poo! And the reason parents post and boast about their kids like they are being paid to is because they are convinced of this fact. But on a real, mine is the best.
2. Sources of information for first-time mums comes from 7x77 different sources. You got to just mix and match as you go. whattoexpect.com and umamazala (mother-in-law) may have completely opposite advice. Tie-breaker is the midwife. But then the paediatrician and your friend with 4 healthy grown up kids will also tell you different things regarding say 'use of baby powder'. Well just ask the baby, try both sides of advice and see what works. But who wants their baby to be an experiment? You also have what your mum advises, the ladies at the baby shower, the Baby Centre website forum, the e-book your sister sent, and actual research from published medical journals...which I tend to be inclined to due to my profession but then again everything has been proven to be bad for you 'in recent studies'. Then there's good ol' wives tales. Ignore these at your own risk. Then there's actual information I have as a qualified doctor. This is apparently nullified because I am not allowed to treat my own child..but guys, I can't UNknow stuff. Info will kill you. Pray for wisdom. Read but also listen.
3. When will this baby's real mother show up? From the moment they hand her over to you, you simply cannot believe she is yours. You can finally put the tummy kicks to a face and this creature is so perfect. But wait a minute. Seriously, she is yours? You feel like you will be found out by the baby police for masquerading as parents. So you just play it cool and pretend you know what you are doing. Eventually though, you realize that diaper change is actually not that hard. And when you (they) achieve the first burp ( a real one, not that cough you decided was a burp) you look around waiting for a standing ovation from your imaginary reality TV audience. But there's nothing in the dead of 2:47am, just the burp. And that's enough for you.
4. Suddenly the world is too big, too unstable and too dangerous. You get concerned about things you never cared about. The kid who was kidnapped from hospital in 2007 is suddenly the most important news item you have ever read. AND now you wonder about good education and the future of the economy. Congrats, you are becoming a good member of society. But then it gets personal and you wonder whether your job is worth the hours away from bubba. Then again bubba is the reason you feel so motivated to become a millionaire. And I mean like tomorrow. Because obviously, you are going to give this human the world.
5. I have never been so tired in my life...but also never so alive. The threats are real. When you are pregnant everyone is like 'oh you think you are tired now, wait till the baby comes!' And secretly you think, nah not me. I will have a 'routine'. Mfana, you think others didn't have routines? Generally you can't do anything every two hours and think you will be normal. The word is zombie. But of all the things I've had to wake up for at 3am, this sure beats studying for microbiology paper 2. And at the end of it you get a heart-breaking smile which looks like its saying 'thanks mum'. OK that's a lie, she just sleeps but I imagine she is smiling on the inside.
6. Do one thing at a time. Choose wisely what that is. You will be faced with many decisions like should I get into the shower now or attend to that whimper I may have imagined coming from the baby. I'm sure you know the answer. When in doubt always check the diaper. They will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. Good luck with that one. Sheer excitement and visitors can keep you up but the consequences will make you change your ways. Refer to point number 5. They don't advise you to put on your oxygen mask first before anyone else's in an aircrash for nothing. You have to have to have to look after yourself before you can ably look after somebody else. I learnt this the hard way when I forgot to take my pain medicine. At the end of it all no body is happy.
7. My heart has left my body and is walking around outside. I was told the worrying never stops, maybe I may learn to handle it better in future. I'm talking about full blown panic over a tiny pimple on the baby's thigh for instance. Rational thinking has been lost forever. And the worst part is I have TOO MUCH knowledge of worst case scenarios. The mosquito I saw near the crib the other day was like a dragon sent from the world of Ors. Never have I killed so vengefully. All cars drive too fast. Insects should be banned. The country of China should be sued for products which cause reactions. And hand sanitizer is the best invention.
8. Breastfeeding. I have no words. In shona they would say 'ma-one'.
9. I could win the photojournalist award of the year. Never have I wanted to take pictures of anything so much. Every moment deserves a video. I don't want to miss a thing. We were sharing pics to friends and family the first few days willy-nilly until my husband saw a picture of our baby on a relative stranger's twitter-gram-book. Neither of us knew who this person was and how they got the photo. The sharing stopped immediately. It is a fine balance. Yes you will be so proud but this information age is hard to regulate. Even with your best privacy settings, it may be your contacts that don't bother with security.
10. Savouring every hour. Life is no longer in days. I don't even know what the weekend means. Life is now in hours which consist of feeds, sleep, poo. Repeat. It is an honour to have a front-row seat to this little one's growth and development. Never felt more blessed. So overwhelmed. So happy. My world literally has been turned inside out. And it feels good. The last 136 hours have been hours of pure love. Looking forward to the weeks becoming months, then years, then a lifetime. Bring it on.
1. My baby is the best. No, seriously. This is what every parent thinks. They have the best facial expressions, the best fingers, even the best poo! And the reason parents post and boast about their kids like they are being paid to is because they are convinced of this fact. But on a real, mine is the best.
2. Sources of information for first-time mums comes from 7x77 different sources. You got to just mix and match as you go. whattoexpect.com and umamazala (mother-in-law) may have completely opposite advice. Tie-breaker is the midwife. But then the paediatrician and your friend with 4 healthy grown up kids will also tell you different things regarding say 'use of baby powder'. Well just ask the baby, try both sides of advice and see what works. But who wants their baby to be an experiment? You also have what your mum advises, the ladies at the baby shower, the Baby Centre website forum, the e-book your sister sent, and actual research from published medical journals...which I tend to be inclined to due to my profession but then again everything has been proven to be bad for you 'in recent studies'. Then there's good ol' wives tales. Ignore these at your own risk. Then there's actual information I have as a qualified doctor. This is apparently nullified because I am not allowed to treat my own child..but guys, I can't UNknow stuff. Info will kill you. Pray for wisdom. Read but also listen.
3. When will this baby's real mother show up? From the moment they hand her over to you, you simply cannot believe she is yours. You can finally put the tummy kicks to a face and this creature is so perfect. But wait a minute. Seriously, she is yours? You feel like you will be found out by the baby police for masquerading as parents. So you just play it cool and pretend you know what you are doing. Eventually though, you realize that diaper change is actually not that hard. And when you (they) achieve the first burp ( a real one, not that cough you decided was a burp) you look around waiting for a standing ovation from your imaginary reality TV audience. But there's nothing in the dead of 2:47am, just the burp. And that's enough for you.
4. Suddenly the world is too big, too unstable and too dangerous. You get concerned about things you never cared about. The kid who was kidnapped from hospital in 2007 is suddenly the most important news item you have ever read. AND now you wonder about good education and the future of the economy. Congrats, you are becoming a good member of society. But then it gets personal and you wonder whether your job is worth the hours away from bubba. Then again bubba is the reason you feel so motivated to become a millionaire. And I mean like tomorrow. Because obviously, you are going to give this human the world.
5. I have never been so tired in my life...but also never so alive. The threats are real. When you are pregnant everyone is like 'oh you think you are tired now, wait till the baby comes!' And secretly you think, nah not me. I will have a 'routine'. Mfana, you think others didn't have routines? Generally you can't do anything every two hours and think you will be normal. The word is zombie. But of all the things I've had to wake up for at 3am, this sure beats studying for microbiology paper 2. And at the end of it you get a heart-breaking smile which looks like its saying 'thanks mum'. OK that's a lie, she just sleeps but I imagine she is smiling on the inside.
6. Do one thing at a time. Choose wisely what that is. You will be faced with many decisions like should I get into the shower now or attend to that whimper I may have imagined coming from the baby. I'm sure you know the answer. When in doubt always check the diaper. They will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. Good luck with that one. Sheer excitement and visitors can keep you up but the consequences will make you change your ways. Refer to point number 5. They don't advise you to put on your oxygen mask first before anyone else's in an aircrash for nothing. You have to have to have to look after yourself before you can ably look after somebody else. I learnt this the hard way when I forgot to take my pain medicine. At the end of it all no body is happy.
7. My heart has left my body and is walking around outside. I was told the worrying never stops, maybe I may learn to handle it better in future. I'm talking about full blown panic over a tiny pimple on the baby's thigh for instance. Rational thinking has been lost forever. And the worst part is I have TOO MUCH knowledge of worst case scenarios. The mosquito I saw near the crib the other day was like a dragon sent from the world of Ors. Never have I killed so vengefully. All cars drive too fast. Insects should be banned. The country of China should be sued for products which cause reactions. And hand sanitizer is the best invention.
8. Breastfeeding. I have no words. In shona they would say 'ma-one'.
9. I could win the photojournalist award of the year. Never have I wanted to take pictures of anything so much. Every moment deserves a video. I don't want to miss a thing. We were sharing pics to friends and family the first few days willy-nilly until my husband saw a picture of our baby on a relative stranger's twitter-gram-book. Neither of us knew who this person was and how they got the photo. The sharing stopped immediately. It is a fine balance. Yes you will be so proud but this information age is hard to regulate. Even with your best privacy settings, it may be your contacts that don't bother with security.
10. Savouring every hour. Life is no longer in days. I don't even know what the weekend means. Life is now in hours which consist of feeds, sleep, poo. Repeat. It is an honour to have a front-row seat to this little one's growth and development. Never felt more blessed. So overwhelmed. So happy. My world literally has been turned inside out. And it feels good. The last 136 hours have been hours of pure love. Looking forward to the weeks becoming months, then years, then a lifetime. Bring it on.
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| Anashe Joy |
A lovely insight into your first steps into motherhood. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Mama.Aptly put,but lets be honest my baby is the best 😄
ReplyDeleteEnjoy motherhood love
Haha, yes of course. Will do mama!
DeleteThank you for making me smile, laugh and cry at the same time . Your happiness shines through your writing.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!
It is my pleasure. Thank you.
DeleteThis quote "Mfana, you think others didn't have routines?" Comment of the year! Lol! Congrats hun!!!
ReplyDelete