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Kenyatta Market

I just burnt the sirloin steak trying to log on. Between the twitter page/facebook page and Ernest Bazanye's hilarious website and the nineties music which I am inexplicably listening to...I kinda burnt the meat. But nevermind! I live next to Kenyatta Market. You will soon find out why that is definitely a good thing. (Its probably better though that my mother does not read my blog or anything else on a computer)

Fine! Its not sirloin steak..its just a juicy piece of meat. But still...it looked pretty fancy before I incinerated it. You see, I live in Ngumo, which is a stone-throw's distance from Kenyatta Market which is probably the most famous fresh food and vending market. It is truly amazing.

I had doubts before I moved here. There were rumours about the crime and the congestion and disease. (Ok, I made the disease one up)..(trying to build a gory enough picture of the 'dangers' of Ngumo). But when I moved here I was welcomed by some jolly looking late twenties blokes who looked very pleased about my arrival. My girlfriend who was helping me unpack already had a crush on one of them. So if for nothing else, this place is good for hook-ups!

They also looked like the sugar-giving type. You know the ones you need when you've run out of sugar? Yes those ones.

Kenyatta Market is where every girl in Kenya (unless she's insanely rich or stupid) gets her hair done. Not only do they have the best hairdressers, they are the most reasonable and the fastest. You can negotiate any style at any cost. And don't worry. You dont have to look for them..they will help you alight from the bus or car and greet you with toothy questions "Salon, Aunty?" "A change, Aunty?" "A retouch, Aunty?"...I guess the aunty is a constant. And if you are not aggressive in your 'no' they shall follow you everywhere until you scream at the top of your lungs, "NO!"

KM, has the tastiest nyama choma aka braai meat aka barbeque aka mchomo aka inyama yakugocha aka inyama ewosiweyo. (haha funny how i know that in every language!). But its true. Who needs Nandos? KM has this marinated chicken which is so tantalizing and tempting its hard to walk past and not want some. They even give you some for free without committing to the buy just so you know what you are missing. The buggers! It always gets me!

Have I talked about the 2nd hand clothes, the electronics, the bags, the new shirts for men, fresh fish from Lake Victoria. Yes LAKE VICTORIA. Don't ask me how..but those fish are fresh and yummy. they peel every thing for you. Sukumawiki, sugar cane, pineapple..everything is ready to eat. They even make fruit salad dishes! Its simply fantastic.

There are some kitchens run by motherly looking women who sell a huge plate of nutritious lunch for as little as 1USD. And you cant finish the plate! And the motherly looking woman is always chatty and..well...motherly.

There's a gym, a driving school, internet cafe's, banks, Western Union and Moneygram, bakeries, butcheries, shoe-repair, pirated movies (but very clear) (i promise Paramount, i don't buy those!)..there's car-washes, supermarkets with everything you may need, fresh vegetables, ladies who specialize in curtain sewing, ladies who specialize in sewing everything, ladies who specialize in doing nails, ladies who..just specialize...

I am so glad I moved here. I don't have to go into the hustle of Nairobi CBD anymore..I walk to work. The people are amazing. Im even in a gang called Nera Terror. My estate is clean and cute and just right for me at the time of life Im at. You can see the stars at night, can catch a matatu at virtually anytime. There's a huge mall just down the road for when you want 'nice' things. And did I mention Heritage?? Thats the local bar. Where all the football goes down. There's a guy who sells heavenly kebabs outside.

When you are in Kenya...Do pop round to Kenyatta Market. And as for me, I have to go buy more 'sirloin steak" ;)

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