Stay positive! Look up, love, laugh and live! Don’t worry, be happy! Sometimes you smile because you are happy, and sometimes you can become happy because you smiled. Sound familiar? I am sure you have seen these type of status posts with motivational messages on friends’ social media pages. You know those pictures with the inspirational messages. But sometimes it’s just not sinking into your core. You can’t smile. You can’t be positive. All the tricks are not working. You just feel sad. How can we tell when depression is just a natural phase of life or a serious clinical illness which requires more than just a friend’s shoulder?
Feeling sad is natural, especially after a stressful life situation or when your expectations have not been met. Disappointment is a normal part of life, granted. For example, it is normal to feel down after a major disappointment, or to have trouble sleeping or eating after a difficult relationship break-up. Usually, within a few days, perhaps after talking to a friend, we start to feel like ourselves again.
But sometimes this feeling of sadness can go on for a little too long. It starts affecting your eating, work, sleep and even relationships. Unlike normal stress and sadness, the symptoms of clinical depression persist and do not go away no matter how much the individual wants.
Black women are not supposed to get depressed. We are likened to the best hot coffee: black, sweet and strong. Society demands the roles of super-mother, wife, girlfriend, sister and daughter of a black woman be deep rooted in our very fabric and any sign of weakness is not taken very well. How can one help a seemingly invincible character?
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| Depression is not our culture - a common myth which leaves people isolated and hopeless |
The problem is many people do not think clinical depression actually exists. Bobby, a radio show host says, “Depressed people need to deal with reality and accept the fact that some days are good and some are bad. Showing them the sympathy that they seek only makes them more vulnerable. They need to just 'Snap out of it already!" Wallowing in your sorrows doesn't get the problems out of your way, however, getting up and doing something constructive to get your mind off it, does!” She believes in the ‘tough love’ approach that if they truly are your friend you will tell them exactly what you think and kick-start them into getting better on their own.
Wendy, 26, thinks clinical depression is just a disease for the rich who can afford to spend tonnes of money on psychiatrists and endless supplies of anti-depressants. “It’s fashionable to have a shrink!” She believes if you cannot meet the expense of getting depressed then you just have to move along with your life and “stop complaining.”
Clinical depression referred to as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) by clinicians is real and it can happen to anyone. . It involves a noticeable change in functioning that persists for two weeks or longer. It is known to be caused by imbalances in chemicals in the brain. Some experts have also linked a hereditary nature to depression. Diseases such as Hypothyroidism (low thyroid) can lead to MDD too.
The symptoms that lead to diagnosis include the persistent low mood of which there are no periods of happiness. (It is quite different from Bipolar Affective Disorder where a person goes from one extreme of a mood to another). A person suffering from clinical depression may also present with reduced capacity to feel pleasure. Test any woman with ice-cream, shopping or Oprah. If they say no, raise an eyebrow. Excessive self blame and feelings of worthlessness are also a pointer. Others are sleep disturbances, significant weight loss or gain, loss of concentration and fatigue. If there are any suicidal thoughts, even a mention of it in a jokey manner, be vigilant about what they really mean.
It is dangerous because a person suffering from it may not realize it. There is a complete loss of perspective and when friends and family try to reach out to help, the person may feel irritated and more upset. They do not realize what they are experiencing is abnormal and are too ashamed to ask for help, afraid to appear weak and unable to ‘handle their business’. The sad thing is, by the time anyone is aware of the problem at hand it may be too late. Suicide figures are shockingly high and avoidable with a few tools of realizing the problem.
So how do we grade depression?
Sally, 31, says she sometimes feels a void in her life she cannot explain. Even when everything is going well, job and family are all good but there’s this feeling of misery she can’t shake. Meanwhile Thembi, 25, says she has been suffering from depression on and off since she was a teenager and had occasional thoughts of suicide over the years. What makes Sally’s case less severe than Thembi’s? Well it all comes down to chemical levels. The chemicals dopamine and serotonin are responsible. All people go through depression in varying degrees. The ones who require medical care are the ones who manifest with the symptoms mentioned above.
For most forms of depression, symptoms improve with psychological counseling, antidepressant medications or a combination of the two. Antidepressants can relieve symptoms of depression, while counseling may help you cope with ongoing problems that may trigger or contribute to depression. If you have severe depression, or counseling and medications don't relieve your symptoms, you may benefit from newer methods such as vagus nerve stimulation (VNS) and deep brain stimulation (DBS). Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) — a procedure in which electric currents are passed through the brain is out-dated in some countries. Another new treatment, called transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), was recently approved by the FDA. It uses strong magnets to stimulate the parts of the brain that affect mood.
There are however non-medical ways of avoiding depression all together. (And they don’t require any type of electricity either.) Depression and diet may be related. Some preliminary research suggests that having a poor diet can make you more vulnerable to depression. Researchers in Britain looked at depression and diet in over 3,000 middle-aged office workers over the course of five years. They found that people who ate a junk food diet — one that was high in processed meat, chocolates, sweet desserts, fried food, refined cereals and high-fat dairy products — were more likely to report symptoms of depression. The people who ate a diet rich in fruits, vegetables and fish were less likely to report being depressed. So not only will you evade weight gain, you will also be happy! It’s a win-win situation.
Yolanda says she has been struggling with a relationship because her boyfriend is suffering from depression. She says he only becomes more cheerful when he is drunk. The depression that follows the next day is unbearable. “It is a cycle which is difficult to break and I don’t know if it is the alcohol causing the depression or the depression making him drink.” Substance abuse has been linked to depression. There are several factors that may trigger or exacerbate an already present depression. Be aware that people who are depressed may use drugs as a way to cope with their symptoms. Caffeine addiction alters sleep pattern and lack of sleep may trigger depression. Any addiction generally may leave a person feeling helpless and unable to control their life and thus the unrelenting feelings of sadness.
Lifestyle changes — such as stress reduction and regular exercise — also can make a difference. Many people benefit most from a combination of treatments. Natural remedies for depression aren't a replacement for medical diagnosis and treatment. But, for some people certain herbs and supplements do seem to work well. Omega-3 fatty acids are being studied as a possible treatment for depression and as a mood stabilizer in people with bipolar disorder. St John’s Wort and SAMe’s are herbs which have been used for centuries to treat depression and still popularly used in Europe. Keep in mind that some herbal and dietary supplements can cause potentially dangerous interactions with other medications.
Seeking an inner truth gives people something to believe in. There are examples of people who were cured of depression after a major life change or figuring out their purpose. Giving to others in charity helps you focus less on your problems and more on helping the needy. Meditation and prayer give you peace of mind. Yoga, gardening, dancing, playing with your new puppy – do them all, at least once in your life. You may be in a rut and just need to shake things up with a change.
If you do have signs and symptoms of depression, don't ignore them. Even mild depression can take a toll on your enjoyment of life, your performance at work or school, and your relationships with other people. And, left untreated, depression can get worse. And how do we help a friend going through depression? Don’t stop listening. Pick up the call every time even if it is to hear the familiar tearful narration that nobody loves them. Explore treatment options with her family and members of her support system. Share this blog and raise awareness! Realizing that there is indeed a health problem is half the battle.
This is the modified version of an article I wrote for The New African Woman in 2011. Still relevant!
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